Roy Keanes, Ranked

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By Edd Paul – @Edd93Paul

As you may well have heard, today is St Patrick’s Day; a day in which it is sociably acceptable to get as drunk as possible while wearing as much green as possible, and where everyone will pretend to be a little bit Irish but no one cares if you are or not because Guinness! Shamrocks! Jigs!

For creatively-starved writers such as yours truly, St Patrick’s Day also provides a handy little tent-pole around which to pitch some lovely con-TENT (Fun! With! Words!); look around the internet today and literally every media outlet will have some green-tinged Paddy’s Day themed filler we will all lovingly consume because it’s St Patrick’s Day! More Guinness! More Shamrocks! More Jigs!

With this in mind, please see Late Tackle‘s offering; a definitive ranking of all the Roy Keanes.

1. Bearded Roy Keane:

2. Leader of Men Roy Keane:

3. Patrick Vieira Baiter Roy Keane:

4. IDGAF Pundit Roy Keane:

5. Dog-Walker Roy Keane:

6. Death Stare Supremo Roy Keane:

7. Manager Roy Keane (Sunderland Edition):

8. Bequiffed Whippersnapper Roy Keane:

9. Abandon Your Country At The World Cup Because ‘FECK DIS’ Roy Keane:

10. Technology Hater Roy Keane:

11. Manager Roy Keane (Sunderland Edition Pt.II):

12. Manager Roy Keane (Ipswich Town Edition):

Yeah he wasn’t very good. He sold Jordan Rhodes. For £350,000. That was a bad thing you did, Roy.

13. Naughty ‘Tackle The Shit Out Of Someone’ Roy Keane:

14. Nottingham Forest Roy Keane…Meh:


This article was brought to you by Late Tackle football magazine, the national football fanzine, 'by fans for fans'.
On-sale nationwide or to subscribe CLICK HERE

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