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Joe Garner Could Be This Year’s Christmas No.1

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Rangers fans are currently trying their damned hardest to heap worldwide musical fame upon striker Joe Garner – by bagging him the UK Christmas No.1 spot.

Fans have boosted sales of The Dave Clark Five’s hit single ‘Glad All Over’, adopted in chanting adoration of their star forward, with the 1963 banger flying up to NUMBER ONE on the iTunes downloads chart, beating off competition from breakup enthusiast Taylor Swift and popular robot quartet Little Mix.

This is essentially a re-run of that time Rage Against The Machine got the number one spot, except instead of a politically-minded punk-rap group we have a mediocre, three-goals-in-16-games footballer called Joe and the Dave Clark Five. 2016 finally has its own Christmas miracle!

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