Oh, that poor man. That hapless man, taking his turn in goal because regular keeper Steve has gone shopping with his wife and backup Michael has had a mini-breakdown and gone travelling to ‘find himself’, or something, and everyone else has already done their stint.
This man, in the striped red and black shirt, like a six-a-side Dennis the Menace, is ill-prepared for playing in goal, as the below video demonstrates:
AMAZING: The best 6-a-side own goal of all-time. ???????? (???? @T5sTV) pic.twitter.com/Onxdl9Ujf2
— SPORF (@Sporf) January 27, 2017
We’ve all been there: shuffling miserably around in an absurdly tiny goal, doing our bit for the team – ‘The Lads’ – and trying our best to remember not to go outside the area (YOU MUST NEVER SET FOOT OUTSIDE THE AREA). But we’ve never quite been there: the place our red-and-black clad hero solely occupies, a place of total and utter humiliation.
The nutmeg; the moment he believes all hope is lost; the other moment where the ball glances out off the post and he thinks “MY GOD I COULD ACTUALLY STOP THIS BALL, I BLOODY COULD, YOU KNOW”; the desperate scramble as the ball spins back towards goal; and finally, the killer blow.
The wild swing, such an unnatural move to our protagonist, as his leg catches the net. The resultant fall, head thrown backwards, arms thrown wide, as he crashes to the floor – his world following not far behind – and his trailing leg lightly nudges the ball into the goal…
Bloody hilarious, right? Of course it’s hilarious. Of course, we’ll retweet this video. Of course, we’ll tag our mates in it on Facebook with the little crying laughing emoji.
But, really: aren’t we all this man? Striving for happiness and meaning in a world that often seems bereft of it. Surviving the heartache, the slings and arrows, that life throws at us. And just when we think we’ve found redemption and fulfilment and meaning, just when we think we’ve stopped the ball from it’s inevitable and depressing journey into the net: it’s gone. The ball is in the goal. You are on the floor. Everyone is standing around, laughing at you. The familiar feeling of resentment and futility returns.
But yeah: bloody funny, though.
(Credit @T5sTV)
